We will not be controlled

It’s going to be one of those moments in history where you remember exactly where you were when you heard the news. I was on the beach last week, enjoying a trip with my family and friends. I’d run in to grab some water and happened to pick up my phone while standing in the kitchen when I saw the headline SUPREME COURT OVERTURNS ROE V. WADE. I started gasping for air, and then the tears came.

I spent Friday dissolving quietly because I didn’t want to ruin my kids’ beach vacation. I spent the car ride home on Saturday quietly alternating between grief, fear, and a slowly-building rage.

It is now Sunday, and I am filled with scorching fury.

We will not be controlled

The control of women’s bodies is nothing new. Adrienne Rich wrote in 1974, “there is nothing revolutionary whatsoever about the control of women’s bodies by men. The woman’s body is the terrain on which patriarchy is erected.” (Of Woman Born: Motherhood as Experience and Institution) Silvia Federici traces it back to the witch hunts of the 16th century with “the intensification of the persecution of “witches,” and the new disciplinary methods that the state adopted in this period to regulate procreation and break women’s control over reproduction.” (Caliban and the Witch: Women, The Body and Primitive Accumulation)

This latest backlash against women and their bodily autonomy is just another reminder that we cannot depend on the state, or any system that is still primarily controlled by men. The answer to this latest crisis is not to expand the Supreme Court. It’s not to vote for more Democrats. And it’s also not to accept the limitations that are forced upon us.

The answer to this latest crisis lies in realizing how powerful we are and screaming that we WILL NOT BE CONTROLLED. We have to remember how deep and fierce the wellspring of our feminine power is.

The Divine Feminine is rising, and she is furious. Kālī Mata (“the dark mother”) is the image of immense and terrifying power, her eyes glowing with rage as she laughs and dances triumphantly. She also represents the inescapable power of time and the darkness from which everything is born.

Kali by Raja_Ravi_Varma

Uma Dinsmore-Tuli, in her book Yoni Shakti: A Woman’s Guide to Power and Freedom Through Yoga and Tantraconnects each of the mahavidyas (the ten Wisdom Goddesses) with a siddhi, or specific power. To Kālī she ascribes the power that comes with acceptance of change, and the willingness to let go in order to grow.

At its most profound level, Kālī’s siddhi empowers us to drop the limitations of who we think we are in order to encounter the limitless potential of what we can become. Kālī invites us to surrender completely any ideas that come from a desire to fix or define our sense of identity. To access the unlimited powers of her siddhi requires that we allow a part of us to die, the part that most strenuously asserts that it is the very source of our identity: our idea of who we are.

Women have been forced into an identity that has been mangled and kept meager by the patriarchy. We have been told that to be a woman, our bodies should be small and under male control. We have been told that the natural cycles of female bodies are shameful, that we exist for male pleasure, that as we age out of youth and beauty we become worthless, and that primary role is to bear children.

When we meet Kālī, we surrender this false identity that has constrained us. It is sometimes terrifying to release the bonds that hold us, but it is also terrifying to continue to remain under male control. Let us begin the process of freeing ourselves from this false identity and step into our own wild power.

Sovereignty Hymn

My mantra for the last few days comes from Abigail Benson. It's healing and empowering and I encourage you to give it a listen if you can:

Sovereignty Hymn

We will not

We will not

We will not be controlled

I am sovereign in my body

I am sovereign in my soul!

~ Abigail Benson

Some Useful Resources

These came to me from one of my teachers at CIIS and I am sharing them here.

For those who are engaging in protest, which may include participating in street protests, and/or other forms of nonviolent action such as active noncompliance with anti-abortion laws, be aware that on Thursday SCOTUS effectively overturned the requirement for police to inform you of your rights (Miranda rights) if arrested. Please remember:

  • If you are detained, ask if you are free to leave. If so, calmly walk away. If not, ask if you are under arrest.

  • If you are arrested, ask why, and otherwise say nothing. Remain silent and ask to speak to an attorney.

  • You have the right to remain silent, you have the right to consult an attorney before talking to the police and the right to have an attorney present while being questioned.

  • You have the right to make a local phone call.

  • Anything you say can and will be used against you in court.

  • In addition, you never have to consent to being searched, including your vehicle, bag(s), and phone. You have the right to refuse.

  • You also have the right to record police activity. Record names and badge numbers if possible, and take video and photos of any abusive behavior so you can file an official complaint

Additional Resources

Susie Fishleder