Moving beyond the doll: How can we raise feminist boys?
Browsing the toy aisle in Target last weekend, I overheard two young women talking. “What did you buy him for his 1st birthday?” one asked. “Oh!” exclaimed the other proudly. “We got him a baby doll. You know, I really just want to defy those gender stereotypes that say boys don’t play with dolls.”
I smiled to myself, weakly. I remember buying my oldest son a baby doll as well, with the same intention. Normally, chatty extrovert that I am, I would have made an encouraging comment to the young mother. But I was (and still am) reeling over the horrific mass shooting at the elementary school in Uvalde, Texas, and I just didn’t have the energy to engage with a stranger.
It got me thinking though. Did 18-year-old Salvador Ramos, the young man who murdered 19 children and 2 teachers at the Robb Elementary School, ever have a baby doll? What about the 18-year-old shooter in the Buffalo grocery store earlier in the month? What about all the men who have been involved in all the mass shootings? Were they just not given the opportunity to nurture a baby doll?
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Yoga for Feminists: What IS it?
In her classic text, Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center, scholar and activist bell hooks expands the definition of feminism and declares that feminism is a position in which:
bell hooks: “one that does not simply fight for the equality of women and men (of the same class) but of a movement that fights to end sexist oppression and exploitation without neglecting other forms of oppression such as racism, classism, imperialism and others. Each of these forms of oppression are interrelated and inseparably connected to each other through interlocking webs of oppression.” (emphasis mine)
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Motherhood as Liberation: A Spiritual Revolution of Mothering
Except no one ever talks about motherhood like this. I’ve been a yoga practitioner for over twenty years, and none of my teachers spoke about motherhood as a spiritual practice. In fact, it was just assumed that becoming a mother meant my own yoga practice and spiritual journey would necessarily be put on hold, that I’d have to wait a few years until my babies were a little older to really dedicate myself again. It took me years of being a prenatal yoga teacher and helping countless women in their transition to motherhood, that I even began to make the connections between my spiritual practice of yoga and my motherhood experiences, and when I finally made that connection, it seemed totally revolutionary to me.
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Revolutionary Mothering
What is the importance of the mother in this family model in ensuring it is not a system of oppression? I dive in first by examining the problems inherent in this family structure, weaving in personal narrative as I consider these issues in relation to my own life, then considering possible solutions for a re-imagining of the nuclear family that take inspiration and wisdom from those who have been offering these critiques from the margins. Layla F. Saad says in her book, Me and White Supremacy, “I invite you to challenge your complicity in this system and work to dismantle it within yourself and the world.”
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Motherhood as Consciousness
Motherhood is a spiritual path, however it is often dismissed as the invisible work of women. But it is within the very everyday acts of compassion and love that make up motherhood that we find innumerable opportunities for spiritual enlightenment.
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Mother Agency
The demanding expectation of attachment parenting makes the following difficult: holding a full-time career, maintaining a romantic relationship with your partner, having interests beyond your children, and getting a good night’s sleep for years. Attachment parenting wasn’t meant for the nuclear family living in isolation. Baby wearing wasn’t meant for one woman to carry the baby for two years straight; she would have had help from her older children, her sisters, and other mothers in the village. The literal weight would have been distributed.
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Mother Identity
During matrescence, in this period of transition from woman to mother, the values and stories we’ve held onto our entire lives begin to shift and change. By connecting with the values that have held priority for you your whole life, and understanding those that have changed, you can find grounding for your ego and identity and discover your true self.
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Matrescence: The Transition to Mother
We are not given the space to celebrate our transition to motherhood. Our modern society does not offer any commemoration or ritual around birth that honors the mother; the closest thing we have is the baby shower.
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Stories From My Motherline
I am the daughter of Barbara Jeffries, granddaughter of Beulah Rapp, great-granddaughter of Beulah Jagger, great-great-granddaughter of Mary Schreiner. The forces that have shaped my motherhood experience echo back generations, and I find solace and strength in the women of my Motherline. Our stories dance along the spiral of time; looping, intertwining, overlapping and creating a tapestry of womanhood and motherhood that defies a linear progression.
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Feminist Reflections: Activists and Thought Leaders
Inwardly I railed against the feminists who had insisted that we should try to “have it all;” I didn’t want it all anymore. I just desperately wanted a good night’s sleep.
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Living A Feminine Life
Truly living in the Feminine means embracing creativity, intuition, sensuality, and honoring a cyclical life. When we place these values at the forefront of our day, we are able to access a magnificent, gorgeous and nourishing power.
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It’s Mothers that Are Leaving The Workforce, Not Just Women
We want women to be able to work, but we want mothers to be at home caring for children.
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The Eightfold Path of Prenatal Yoga: Pratyahara, Dharana, Dhyana and Samadhi
The study of Yoga is vast and deep; it is a lifelong practice of self-awareness and self-improvement. Motherhood offers us the same opportunity for growth and enrichment; not only for ourselves, but for our children.
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The Eightfold Path of Prenatal Yoga: Asana and Pranayama
Asana and pranayama are the physical limbs of the eightfold path of Yoga. Each of these limbs offers tremendous benefits to practitioners, and applying them consciously to pregnancy makes the experience of both your Yoga practice and your pregnancy richer and more fulfilling.
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The Eightfold Path of Prenatal Yoga: Yamas and Niyamas
The yamas and niyamas of yoga are the foundation of a Yoga practice. These are similar to the moral or ethical codes found in any major religion. Opportunities to practice these happen daily, sometimes moment to moment.
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Is your sense of self defined by how others see you?
Do you get caught up in how others see you? Worried that you’ll be judged as a person based on some external characteristic? What are the aspects of your personality that you may keep hidden, or tempered, because you fear it doesn’t match what people think of you?
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